So I've had a week or so for last week's bomb to sink in. I've gone through a few stages... anticipation, denial, panic, anger... but at the end of it all, I'm just trying to stay positive about it all.
And I mean all of it. I think I've been downplaying, in my own mind, everything that just happened to me. And no, I'm not trying to make it all about me... I'm thrilled for both Eric and Rich with their new quests and career directions. But I'm the only person that has been affected by both sides in a great way. And anyone who knows me know that I am the queen of keeping it together. To a point. That's probably my biggest flaw... I push things down deep and put up a fantastic façade that I've got it all together. Then one small thing will just set all that buried emotion off in a volcanic eruption that no one understands.
I guess at the end of the day, I still have things under control. Somewhere along the way, though, I picked up this habit of not letting people see everything going on inside my head (and heart, I guess). And why I'm spilling this all out in a blog right now is a beyond me... maybe I subconsciously see this as a pressure release to avoid a meltdown later.
Please don't take this as an invitation to 'talk about things' with me. If I want to talk, I will. But obviously, I'm not an open book, nor do I want to be. Just know that there's a lot more going on with me than you know, and leave it at that.
Next week will be my first 'official' week in my new gig. Should be interesting. I know my counterpart in the office is completely freaked out, so I know I'll be the epitome of calmness to keep him from freaking out more. Now the question is, will I actually be as calm as I appear to be on the outside?
1 comment:
You think you've got problems?
I just rolled over to 20K on my truck and a week later had to have a new battery installed. Yeah, I knew it had to happen sometime, but I was expecting to get another 2 years out of it.
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