Dear Mother Nature,
I am concerned about your love affair with this Polar Vortex guy you've been seeing the past few months. I get that he's the cool guy on the block, but I think he's just using you to get closer to us. We've made it clear to him that we don't like him, nor do we want him hanging around our homes. He vandalizes the area, leaving behind slick walks and just howls when he sees us slip on them. And don't get me started on the cold shoulder he likes to give when don't pay attention to his antics.
I think you need to move on. I've heard Polar has a twin brother that he doesn't talk to anymore. I've been told he's way hotter that Polar, too, if you can believe that. I think his name is Tropical, though I could be making that up in my own head from things I've heard about him. He's a bright guy that's just a ray of sunshine to everyone he's met. Everyone is greeted with a warm welcome and he makes sure the days are full of fun and last as long as possible.
I've had a few friends sneak off to meet this guy over the past few months. They come back so happy, but Polar seems quick to kill the happiness. He does not like the smiles that Tropical can bring. Is that the kind of guy you really want to hang around? Is that really the kind of guy you want to expose all of us to??
I think Tropical Vortex is really a guy you could warm up to. But you have to leave Polar Vortex behind, first. They don't coexist well. Think about it. I can tell you that we'd love to see you with that golden glow only Tropical can bring... it's way better than the red nose that Polar laughs at.
Sincerely,
Kara
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